Fragile and strong
Sometimes I hate my vulnerability, but sometimes I appreciate my vulnerability.
With vulnerability, it is equivalent to signing a contract with the world. I love it and it loves me. All disputes between me and it can be resolved through normal channels.
However, this is also an angry contract, because the world is always unfair to me. It goes back on its word and is treacherous, which always catches me off guard.
Sometimes, I have a strong impulse to tear up this contract.
Tearing up this contract seems to be a great pleasure in life. Tearing it up proves that I have nothing to do with it from now on. I don't have any hope for it. I can treat all deception and all blows with no hesitation and iron heart; Tear it off, I will become a strong person. On this strong me, I can't see treasure, pain, vulnerability, fear, or even smile.
However, I still don't want to be such a strong man.
Because this is a kind of strength on an isolated island, a kind of suicidal strength. An isolated island can give full play to my will to survive. However, this simple will to survive only keeps me alive at best. What it gives me is only an animal like survival, not life, a real, high-quality and human life.
Keeping a crippled self, losing a complete world, no more trust, no more fantasy, no more loss and no more complaint can make me farther away from despair. However, without despair, isn't it also hopeless? It may not be terrible to have no hope, but if a person loses the ability to hope, it is doomed.
So instead of pursuing that kind of cold-blooded strength, it's better to stick to the vulnerability of hot-blooded.
Fragility is the umbrella of the soul, and fragility is the refuge of the soul. Fragility proves that I still have something to keep, not nothing.
Fragility proves that I have persistence, hope and disappointment, and that the softest part of my heart is still open, just like a child opening a pair of lovely hands waiting for a drop of dew to drop in the palm of his hand!
(责任编辑：立暖) |