We are all prisoners of our own experiences
Wen/Daize
That was the last day of July, bumping up and down the mountains in a car, all of which were very difficult places. Besides the desolate mountains and the Gobi Desert, how can we describe these mountains and the Gobi Desert. The yellow hills are covered with fans and generators, making the green grass appear so small. The scattered white poplar trees in the Gobi Desert are striving to stretch out on the open land, some neatly arranged, some randomly arranged, and some forming a kind of love... At a glance, except for the emptiness in my heart, there are still some sighs left, and I don't know how to express the momentary feelings in my heart. It was also a sunny day, with a blue sky like a gemstone and thick clouds like the snow from last night. It was dazzling white, but after looking at it for a long time, it felt very warm. I have been fond of watching clouds since I was young, because there are stories inside, whether happy or sad, whether happy or sad, all determined by our hearts.
I actually don't want to write about the people I meet. I always feel that it's just a one-sided relationship, how can I casually write about it? People are a complex entity. But in a desolate land, there will always be one or two people there, otherwise even if the scenery is good, it would be empty. When I was taking a group photo on the barren mountain to the north, I met what they often called the 'Master Cui'. He was tall and big, with greasy short hair and wearing half worn white beige short sleeves. He stood by the dilapidated house. We warmly welcomed us, and after a few pleasantries, we started working. We only listened to him tell the leader if he could transfer him back to his original location. The project here was also completed, and the workers went home. These days, I've always been alone in the wilderness, and the food I cook doesn't dare to stay overnight, so it breaks down. I don't want to dwell on the past, I just want to do the current thing well, go back to where I was and continue cooking well, my eyes so sincere. Perhaps due to professional reasons, they always ask us whether we eat or not, there is nothing to entertain us, and eating is always good. Except for the perfunctory answers from the work leaders, we hurriedly left due to time constraints. I sat in the car and looked back at the gradually fading small house, his appearance floating in my mind. I know Master Cui is more alive than us all. I think if I had known earlier that he was from Zhenshi, I should have brought him a few books to relieve his situation and live a fulfilling life. However, things won't change according to my heart. I turned around several times and ended up recording his life in two words and three words. People cannot live as they wish, whether it's fate or choice is not very important. The important thing is not to talk nonsense about the past, just focus on the present.
After several twists and turns, we arrived at a construction site in the south. Although it was still desolate, due to its complete construction, it was like a small home, and we could feel a faint warmth. Because the journey was a bit long, we were all a bit hungry as soon as we arrived. As soon as we got out of the car, we headed straight for the kitchen. A capable and clean little old man, smiling, hurriedly arranged here. Four small dishes will be brought to us in a moment, and this is Master Gao. My hometown, cooking is absolutely top-notch. Eating the dishes he cooked, full of hometown flavor. Perhaps because of our fellow villager, we easily started chatting. He told me about the years that belonged to him, including youth, passion, and dreams... He said, 'Dreams haven't been completed yet, I didn't know I lost them that day, and gradually dreams disappear, leaving only life.'. For dinner, he made us a spicy tomato noodles, which were very chewy and the dishes were delicious. In the open wilderness, a group of people are living their homework without asking about tomorrow, youth, or years. They only live this period of time with care, and they don't know why. They only understand the need to survive and support their families, and that's all. We have no choice but to come naked and go naked in life. The so-called life is a period of time, and when time wears out, we should also go to the soil.
When we returned to the company, the sunset turned red and stained a large area of the sky. Cattle and horses were running wild, and they all said that this was the intersection of Shaanxi, Gansu, and Ningxia. No one cared, and we could boldly walk. We listened to Mongolian folk songs, and it felt really wonderful, just fleeting. Perhaps this was beauty, in an instant.
Walking in the dark, everything is so empty, but the heart is particularly quiet. People have a certain feeling of something similar to their hometown in their bones, which permeates into their bones and cannot be taken away. I was thinking that since I was young, I had wanted to escape everything about the poverty of my hometown, but I had been wandering around and never went out. I have great determination, always lack courage, and still live a life that is not as bad as I once hated.
My colleague said to me, 'This is what we call youth and life. There is no shortage of pain, and what needs to be bitter only becomes more bitter. Living the most pitiful life we have never imagined, consuming our youth, and dreaming of seeing a dog long ago.'. Our master said, 'No matter what life gives you, you must carry on. Firstly, it consumes your best time and is an integral part of your life.'; Secondly, it will teach you some principles to some extent, and perhaps you will benefit for life. If you haven't yet seen immortality as you wish, don't lose yourself.
In fact, we are all prisoners of our own experiences. The places we go, the things we do, and the people we encounter are all things we never thought of. Every moment we live in is what we consider the most difficult in the past and present, and it is something we never knew before. Sometimes we feel that this is a life that has nothing to do with us. Living this thing, it is already so simple that there is no need to delve into it, and the pain lies in it.
(责任编辑：立暖) |